Bawang has learned of a new political theme park to be opened soon by property tycoon Terence Toh. He spoke to us about his plans for the new development, which will be open in time for GE14.
“In the spirit of all the political fervour that has struck the nation recently, I have decided to cash in by opening an awesome new theme park!
Called ‘PilihanRaya Land’, I plan to open the park in five years from now, and you, YES YOU, are all invited to its grand opening!
AMAZING ATTRACTIONS IN PILIHAN RAYA LAND
– The Chinese Tsunami: have a good ride on the largest water roller coaster in the world!
– Be scared silly at the Phantom Voter Haunted School!
– Oooh and ahhhh at the critically acclaimed Vanishing Ballots magic show!
– Try out the Ibrahim Ali Jumping Frog Game! (Now closed for being unsafe and stupid).
– Get a free Indelible Ink tattoo at our Polling Booths, and enjoy classic carnival games, such as Count The Votes (more challenging than you think!) and the gritty ‘Whack-A-Bangla’!
– Laugh yourself silly at our Carnival Clowns, many of whom have professional training speaking nonsense at Parliament!
We also have two special ticket packages for guests:
PACKAGE A: BARISAN BONUS
Choose this package to enjoy the thrilling Scales of Power ride, and get free bags of rice and an IC while you’re here!
PACKAGE B: PAKATAN PROMOTION
Choose this package to enjoy the mind-blowing Rocket to the Moon Space Adventure, or cosy up on the Eye of PKR Ferris Wheel!
(Warning: Pakatan Promotion is highly susceptible to change).
So Apa Lagi You Mahu? Come on up, and have an awesome time!
Pilihan Raya Land will be open once I sort out some problems with its layout. My designer, Mr. Jerry Mandering, is hopeless. He puts all my attractions together and barely spreads them out!”
Photo: Roller Coaster Philosophy, Creative Commons