Malaysian Spring

With less than a week to go until the 13th General Elections, Malaysians are in a state of suspense and uncertainty. According to adverts placed by BN in major print newspapers, a vote for the opposition may lead to instability in the country. What does the future hold? Will instability lead to rioting or the collapse of business? Should we be afraid?

The answer is no. According to a new index of Global Uncertainty, Malaysia actually has less to fear from uncertainty than other countries. Gina Wong, a political analyst, has explained that Malaysians cope very well with uncertainty and are likely to continue to cope with it no matter what the outcome of the general election.

“You see, Malaysians have managed to adapt well to uncertainty in their daily lives,” says Professor Wong. “If you’re waiting for a KTM train, you will be uncertain if the train will arrive or not. If you take a taxi, you will be uncertain that your driver knows where he is going.”

Professor Wong added, “If you go out around 3pm, you will be uncertain if you’ll reach your destination because of road flooding. If you live in certain apartment blocks, you will be uncertain if there is water when you get home. Oh yes, and if you’re eating a late night Ramly Burger, you will be uncertain if it’s going to punish your butthole the next day.”

All these conditions make Malaysians well suited to dealing with uncertainty, explained Professor Wong. Therefore, Malaysians should not be worried about change. “The fact is, the average Malaysian would much rather eat a roti canai than start a riot.” When asked for proof, she said she was almost definitely certain that this was probably true.

Photo by Ng Seksan, Malaysian Spring