KUALA LUMPUR: In a shocking turn of events, the cast of popular movie musical Les Misérables were arrested yesterday for allegedly singing seditious songs encouraging revolt and governmental overthrow.
Police helicopters were seen swooping down near the houses of Hollywood stars Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe as early as 6am on Wednesday.
“We have uncovered evidence that Les Misérables is actually a deadly seditious musical aimed at rousing people against our beloved government,” said Defective Inspector Sergeant Tangkap bin Pukul, who led the 70-man raid.
“The storyline, about a group of revolutionaries who rise up against rulers they are dissatisfied with, has influenced the weak minded to terrible, fanatical ideas.”
“We always hear protestors singing songs from the musical at their rallies. They make YouTube videos with the song ‘Do You Hear The People Sing‘, which contain seditious lyrics like ‘Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men?’ What nonsense! There are no angry people in Malaysia. Everyone is very happy all the time.”
Tangkap added he would they would soon be going after the movie’s mastermind, who he revealed was a French writer known as Victor Hugo.
“We have received info that he has apparently been dead for over a hundred years. However, we will not let that stand in the way of our investigation.” He said.
The Hollywood stars arrested stated they were extremely displeased at their treatment.
To be locked up in a cage!
Damn them all to perdition!
Locking me up for sedition!
It’s a lie, it’s a scam!
Do they not know how I am?
You have not seen
The last of Wolveriiiiiineeeeeeee!!!”
Jackman sang in a statement as he was led from his residence in handcuffs earlier today.
“My OSCAR!” actress and former cat burglar Hathaway was heard screaming as she was forced into a police van. “Who will take care of my Oscar? Who will feed him and keep him warm?”
A statement from Crowe could not be recorded after his singing ruptured several journalists’ eardrums and destroyed a tape recorder.
The three stars were detained at the Brickfields police station for twenty hours of questioning and fifty hours of autograph signing. They are expected to be charged soon.
UPDATE: A small crowd of supporters and autograph hunters have gathered outside the police station where the cast have been detained. Many were sighted holding candles and singing “Do You Hear the People Sing?”
Hugh Jackman, however, has requested for them to stop, saying he has heard the song “five billion bloody times already.”
by Terence Toh. Photo courtesy of Salon.com.